Swingers Advice For Single Guys
October 27, 2009 by Couples Click
Swingers Advice For Single Guys
As the face of the lifestyle in the adult industry I often receive the question: “How does a single male get into the lifestyle?” To be honest there is no “easy” answer to this question (although if you take the time to figure out what I like in men and fit the profile…email me!). The truth is, the answer lies almost 90% in patience. Women’s preferences in men are almost impossible to figure out. I like my guys to be men’s, men. The strong, confident types. I personally am attracted to bigger, fit guys rather than thin men. Age is of no concern as long as there is an air of maturity….sophistication. On the other hand a girlfriend of mine who is also a 30 something, successful, fit blonde likes the thin, scruffy types who have the maturity (in my humble opinion) of a 12 year old!
I can let you in on a few tips that might help you in your exploration of the swinging lifestyle though.
Before you, the single guy, try to make a leap into the swinger’s lifestyle there are a few things that you should be aware of and consider, many that most guys never think of. The first thing that you should realize is that swinging is basically a couples activity. There has always been a debate over whether single guys who do get into the lifestyle are actually swingers or if they are just LUCKY. Personally, I think it depends on their perspective. Swinging is about the fulfilling and sharing of fantasies. If you enter the lifestyle with the idea in your head that you are looking to help others fulfill their fantasies while fulfilling your own, then yes I believe you are a swinger. If, however, you are attempting to enter the lifestyle with only the thought that it’s an easy way to get laid, not only are you not a swinger but you are sadly mistaken.
As you are probably already aware it’s not easy for a single guy to get into the lifestyle; however, you might not be aware of the simple reason as why. Go back to my earlier statement that swinging is mainly a couples activity and it is about fulfilling fantasies. Yes, there are many couples out there who have fantasies, which involve an extra male or 4 or 5 even. However, for every couple out there looking to include males in their playtime, there are at least 10 males looking to fill that one spot. So, as you can see You have some competition.
So how do you beat out the competition? There are two things that will get you in the door the fastest; not every guy fits the description. What are they? The first is NOT a big cock so for Gods sake please stop posting pictures of your dick in the online ads! As a woman I am far more interested in seeing your face, how you dress, the non verbal communication derived from seeing how you pose in these pictures and as far as your body… a full sized picture in your underwear is 10 times more effective than a close up of your dick!
So now that you know what not to do… what should you do?
- Understand that race does not matter. There are just as many women and couples that have fantasies about “her first black guy” as there are about just about anything else.
- Understand that the key is really in your attitude. If you are simply looking to get laid that will show and it will decrease your chances. If you are honestly looking to fulfill fantasies both of your own and others and show that you are there as much for them as for yourself you will do well.
- Post an ad complete with the pictures and parameters I outlined above and start searching ads that are already out there from couples seeking males and answer those that you qualify for. When looking through ads that are already out there, read the ads carefully. Make sure you understand what the couple is looking for and make sure that you qualify. If they aren’t seeking males, don’t respond to the ad. If they are only seeking black males and you are white don’t assume that you are special and just because you are nice they will want you. If you don’t fit what they are looking for don’t respond to the ad.
- When you do respond, don’t just write an email or letter saying how much you’d like to do the wife. Tell them about yourself, provide a good description of who you are, what you look like and where you are coming from (in regards to the lifestyle). If possible, include a g-rated full-body or head shot photo. A g-rated photo that includes your face will get you a LOT further than just a pic of your dick. Unless the couple requested a pic of your dick, don’t send it. Save the explicit pics for after you’ve talked with them and they have asked for it. And please heed this tip…. make sure you acknowledge and respect the husband. If you do not…you can forget about your chances.
- Make sure you post a complete ad at multiple sites. You would be amazed at how different the people are at different sites… these sites become “clique-ish” so you will greatly increase your chances by placing an ad at multiple sites. If the $30 a month is too great a price to pay…. you are probably not “lifestyle” material.
- When posting your ad, post as much information about yourself as possible. Give a good description of yourself as well as good description of the type of encounter you are looking for. Are you looking to get involved with a couple long-term? Or, just a one-night fantasy fulfillment? Also, provide a good idea of your location; I realize if you live in a small town you might not want to state the name of your town, but at least include the name of a larger town near you. If you are willing to travel, make that clear. If you can host activities at your home, state that. Be honest in your ad. If you are a married guy swinging without your wife be honest about that fact. However, I must point out that if you are a married guy swinging without your wife and you do not have her consent to do so then you are NOT swinging, you are cheating and most swingers will not look to kindly on that. Remember swinging is about honest and open relationships, not lying and cheating.
So.. single guys… don’t give up hope. If you really want to join the swinger lifestyle you can. It might take some time, but as long as you keep a good attitude and keep plugging away you’ll get there eventually.
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