The Vocabulary of Swinging. The S Words

The Vocabulary of Swinging. The “S” Words:
Every field of human activity generates at least a few words that have a special or unique meaning within its community of practitioners. Being familiar with such jargon can be more than useful if you wish to interact smoothly with people with greater experience in the activity. Swinging is certainly no exception.
At your next sex party, you would likely find few, if any, participants who know all of the terms defined below. But even the most arcane terms do pop up from time to time in magazine and Internet ads. So, in the interest of thoroughness, we have listed some words that aren’t really used a lot and included others just because they’re rather humorous.
Many of these words have retained the same meaning for several decades. Others change, and new ones are added as the scope of activities broadens or as people of different tastes become involved. If you should come across a term that isn’t defined herein, or feel that a different meaning is being ascribed to one that is listed, please let us know.
We have also included a few terms invented by or exclusively promoted from within the scientific community. Researchers have been known to spend inordinate amounts of time making up labels for various configurations of people and categorizing the people themselves under numerous and rather arbitrary headings. They then proudly publish their “findings” in learned journals. Luckily, most of these scholarly publications are bought for status reasons and are rarely read, even by fellow scientists, let alone by the people who are the article’s subjects. In contrast, we see each person as an individual whose unique characteristics are not subsumed within the group. So we have refrained from including most of the abstruse names that sociologists and psychologists have dreamed up for the “types” of swingers that they have “discovered.”
Also missing from our list are sex-manual definitions of coitus, homosexuality, etc. Anyone who doesn’t know the location and function of the clitoris should send me an email.
A few terms are described as “buzz words.” A buzz word is a term that has meaning only in relation to the user, and really doesn’t communicate accurately  if it is understood at all. We urge you to avoid using such buzz words in your communications.
When more than one definition is given, the one indicated by a lower number is preferable to or more common than any with higher numbers.
The “S” Words:

SAFE  – 1. Used to describe a person who is sterile. Usually a man who has had a vasectomy. 2. (See Clean.)

SAFE SEX  – A misnomer usually meant to indicate an insistence on the use of condoms during intercourse. (Nothing in life is “safe.”)

SAME-SEX  – Sexual interactions between two or more people of matching gender. This term describes an activity and does not imply a permanent psychological orientation or lifestyle as do the terms “homosexual” and “bisexual.”

SCAT – Playing with feces. We’ve never seen it done at a swing party, but have run across it in ads now and then.

SELECTIVE  – A buzz word denoting an assumed characteristic that is used as an excuse when the user doesn’t like someone. Also, an ego support for those who are unsure of themselves.

SERIAL MONOGAMY  – A succession of monogamous relationships of varying duration terminated by mutual agreement and/or divorce. Also called “sequential monogamy.” Usually financially and emotionally disastrous, serial monogamy is a poor alternative to swinging.

SGL  – Single.

SLENDER  – A buzz word meaning anyone who weighs the same or less than the user weighs.

S/M  – Sadomasochism. Any of various practices (bondage, restraint, dominance, etc.) traditionally associated with sadism or masochism but limited to injury-free, consensual activities.

SNOWFLAKE  – A symmetrical pretzel. [Isn't that cute?]

SOCIAL  – A gathering sponsored by a magazine, business, or organization where people meet to talk, dance, drink and, often, eat. For making contacts only, although socials are usually held in hotels where rooms can be rented for private interactions resulting from the public meeting.

SOCIAL SWING CLUB A membership organization that sponsors swinging and other social activities such as trips and lectures.

SOFT SWINGING  – 1. One couple enjoying various sexual interactions with another couple but without exchanging partners for actual penetration. (As with teenage make-out parties, such resolutions not to “go all the way” are often short-lived.) 2. Some still use the term in its original meaning as an antonym of “hard-core” to indicate that the participants are interested in developing friendly relationships in addition to sharing sexual activities.

STD  – Sexually Transmitted Disease.

SQUARE  – A buzz word indicating a person who is not as liberal as the user.

STRAIGHT  – A word with entirely too many meanings. 1. Not versatile or homosexual. 2. A non-swinger. 3. Not sadistic, masochistic, or whatever else the user believes is perverted. 4. A person who does not use drugs, other than alcohol. 5. Square.

STR.  – Straight.

SUB – The person playing the submissive/subservient role in an S/M scene.

SUBMISSIVE  – Willing to be the subject of discipline or bondage.

SWALLOW-THE-LEADER  – (See Daisy Chain.)

SWAPPING  – Two couples exchanging spouses for sexual activities. Although most participants long ago ceased to use the term “wife-swapping” because it implies a male-dominated bartering of wives as possessions, some still use “spouse-swapping” or “mate-swapping.” [Such terms still have overtones of ownership and are rarely used. Except in jest ... we recently heard a young woman remark to a girlfriend that she had to watch her weight because "We have to stay swappable, you know."]

SWEDISH (CULTURE or ARTS)  – The talented and exclusive use of the hands to erotically stimulate one’s partner.

SWINGING  – Activities involving consensual and conjoint participation in sexual interactions by a male-female couple with other couples. Single people are sometimes invited to join in the fun, but a single man or woman who claims to enjoy a “swinging lifestyle” is using the term in a different sense entirely.
No one knows for sure how the term “swinging” came to be associated with group sexual interaction, but there are three oft-espoused theories associated with three of the definitions of “swing.”
Theory Number One: “swing … to sway backward and forward with regular movement … oscillate.” Thus, “swinging” could be a reference to the constant movement out to a new partner, back to the spouse, out to a new partner, and so on.
Theory Number Two: “swing … jazz music especially in its development after 1935.” The association of the musical term with the lifestyle of its devotees led to the phrase “in the swing” being translated as “part of the beautiful scene.” So today some swingers infer that the term signifies the “beautiful people.” Some sources further speculate that the first folks to use “swing” in this way were youth groups in Germany (“Swing Jungen”) that practiced free love to American pop music … much to Hitler’s dismay. (Nothing bugs a despot more than people having fun.)
Theory Number Three: “swing … freedom to do as one wishes or is naturally inclined: as, he gave us full swing in the matter.” From this comes the idea that “swinging” refers to having the freedom to do what comes naturally.

SWITCHING  – (See Swapping.) To our knowledge, this is not used to indicate the application of switches.

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